Git your horse saddled, crawl up on her back
Some chaw in yer lip, and call your dog Jack.
Then it's out on the range, where the prairie dogs roam
Where the coyotes are howling; I call that place home!
"I'm a root tootin' cowboy, and I'm proud of that fact;
My hat is all muddy, and I ain't got no tact."
I may be disgustin', and my feet smell a bit,
And my boots are all filthy from steppin' in sh*t,
I don't read no books 'cause I quit in grade two,
But my horse is all paid fer, and my pickup is new!
I listen to Country, and I spit when I please;
I scratch where I need to, and I never eat peas.
"I'm a root tootin' cowboy, and I'm proud of that fact;
My hat is all muddy, and I ain't got no tact."
My horse is my friend, and he knows what I need;
He only breaks wind when he's done with his feed.
I ain't got no woman, and I sleep on the dirt
But I likes to dress up in high heels and a skirt!
"I'm a root tootin' cowboy, and I'm proud of that fact;
My hat is all muddy, and I ain't got no tact."
I'm ugly as sin, and my back hurts a lot,
And the tooth that I've left is starting to rot.
I kin rope a fast steer, and know that he's mine;
I ain't much on learnin', but I make my X fine!
"I'm a root tootin' cowboy, and I'm proud of that fact;
My hat is all muddy, and I ain't got no tact."
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