 
"Howdy there, pardner! This here collection of my favourite Country & Western songs is the real deal ... these are actual songs, and every durn one of them near to breaks my heart!"
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- "If My Nose Was Full of Nickels I'd Blow It All On You" by Willy Plunkett
- "I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over" by Jo Dee Plastic
- "I Gave Her the Ring and She Gave Me the Finger" by George Crooked
- "You're the Ring Around My Bathtub, You're the Hangnail of My Life" by Jolene Silicone
- "I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dawgfight, 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win" by Hank and the NasalTones
- "I Bought the Shoes That Just Walked Out On Me" by Ben Dover
- "I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me With a Spade!" by Travis Spitt
- "I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance
to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me" by Toby Rotgut
- "I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You" by Jo Bob Redneck
- "One Day When You Swing That Skillet (My Face Ain't Gonna Be There)" by Garth Toenail
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