IT'S GOOD TO BE A MAN ... Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You could care less if someone doesn't notice your new haircut. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's too icky. Wrinkles add character. Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood, ALL the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.       You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack. Everything on your face stays its original color. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You can watch TV with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He's mad at me." You don't mooch off others' desserts. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. You don't have to shave below your neck. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife or your teeth. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. Christmas shopping accomplished for 18 relatives, on Dec. 24th, in 45 minutes. Fun Stuff