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If you've explored this site, you know that I've written a lot of short stories, many with a Christian theme. This story was written a year or so after I'd become a Christian, and was having trouble letting God guide me. It's very personal. "As our story opens, we see the main character, who labours daily under the illusion that he is a good teacher, enter the school and make his way towards his classroom, As usual, he is early. Not because he has any really important work to do he just likes to make a good impression". I'm not sure how today is going to go. Yesterday went pretty well, I guess. But those two boys in my grade eight/nine split class are really causing problems. I wish I had a solution. I like teaching. I even like teaching math. But some days I wonder if I can keep on doing this. There are always more problems to deal with, and there never seems to be enough time to do anything about them. "He makes his way to his desk and sits down. His plan book is open in front of him, but he doesn't look at it. Instead, he sits staring off into space. He looks worried". I don't wait a minute. Who ? "He should be worried. As an experienced teacher (we won't say old) he should " Wait a minute, wait a minute who are you? Why do I hear your voice? Are you talking about me? "Please don't interrupt. I'm the narrator of this story about you. Let me do my job". Narrator? Story about me? What's going on here? "Let me continue, all right? Everything will become clear in the end. Now, where was I? Just a minute while I look at the script. OK, here we go. ' he should be able to deal with any problem that arises in the classroom. He has certainly written about how to do this a lot. He writes incessantly, even though he has no audience'." Why do I need a narrator? And, yes, I write a lot. And I do have an audience. There's Jesse, and I think "Has anyone ever commented about your educational articles?" Well, not recently. But lots of people like them one or two people, anyway. I think. "My point exactly. Let's move on, shall we? 'He worries a lot that he is not doing a good job. He has had difficulty all year long dealing with certain students who don't seem to care about learning, or about others. He doesn't know what to do about it'." You're right, I don't know what to do. I am an experienced teacher, and I have written a lot of articles about how to be a good teacher. Maybe I'm just fooling myself. Anyway, I'm not looking forward to today. The class in question will require some fancy footwork to teach two lessons and keep everyone interested. I just wish I had some help. "Our main character gets up from his desk and prepares some notes on the board, as students begin to wander into the room. One student in particular catches his eye." 'Stephen! Did you finish that assignment I left you with yesterday? You know there's a test tomorrow.' Stephen never does any work. I'm trying to help him learn, but he doesn't seem to care. And he disturbs others. He makes me so angry 'Uh, homework? What homework?' Stephen turns away from me and goes to sit down. But I won't let him get away so easily. 'Those questions I made for you after I helped you yesterday. Ten ratio problems. Did you try them?' 'Uh like, was I supposed to? I thought they were, like, for later, or something. Dude.' 'Where are the problems, Stephen? Let's look at them.' 'Uh I lost them.' 'Are they in your notebook? Where's your notebook?' 'That's why they're lost. I lost my notebook. It was in my locker, and now it's gone. I think someone stole it. Not my locker my notebook.' This is the way it usually goes. No matter what I try, and no matter what I do, nothing sinks in. He doesn't do the work. It probably got tossed into a garbage can somewhere. And his notebook? I keep giving him new ones, and I always make sure whatever notes he does copy are put in there at the end of every class. But they're always gone the next day. Nothing is ever in his notebook but a bunch of ripped pages full of scribbled messages of 'you suck!'. It makes me angry that he can care so little. Mostly I'm angry that I can't teach him anything. I'm angry a lot lately. I don't know why. "Our main character let's call him Bill, for want of a better name turns from the student and resumes writing on the board. He seems oblivious when two more students, both boys, enter the room and sit down. Their conversation is about how drunk they were at the party they were at on the weekend". Look, if you're going to keep talking about me like this, at least get it right, OK? I wasn't oblivious. I heard every word. I just didn't want to say anything. It's not my business what they do on the weekend. Although sometimes I wonder where their parents are. I want to try to make a difference. They have so much potential. They're smart, and athletic. They just don't seem to care about anything. Certainly not about learning. Or about other people. Like I said, I'm beginning to wonder if I can keep doing this. It's a little disheartening when you try so hard to make a difference, and get nowhere. "Bill goes back to his desk and sits down. He wonders if he'll have time to finish writing that article about dealing with inappropriate behaviour in the classroom that he started the previous evening. He really does write a lot. Mostly he writes for himself, since he suspects that almost no-one reads what he writes". I wish you'd stop that. I told you that some people read the articles I post, especially the ones about learning to become a teacher. Besides, it's fun. I know what I'm supposed to do. I even do it well, I think. I just don't seem to get anywhere, and there's no-one to help or talk to. I'm a little discouraged. "Bill leaves the classroom to get a cup of coffee. He doesn't look happy. In fact " Wait just a minute. If you're narrating all this, can't you be a little positive once in a while? Would it hurt to encourage me just a little? Who made you my narrator anyway? "I wanted the job. Your regular narrator can't seem to get through to you." Well, I'm guessing he would have been a lot better at it than you are! You don't seem to care about me at all, even though you're describing everything I do. Why is that? "Don't ask me. I just read what's put in front of me. OK, that was a joke. But you're right your regular narrator would have done a better job. He does care." What do you mean he couldn't get through to me I don't understand! "Bill heads back to the classroom. He walks slowly, as if he's postponing teaching his first class as long as possible. He needs help". Just stop, OK? I asked you a question. I know I need help. Tell me more about my regular narrator. How come I never heard him talk to me before? "Oh, you did. You used to have regular conversations with him. He helped you to do the right things, he encouraged you, gave you confidence, and most of all he gave you hope. And he loves you. But " But? "But you haven't been listening to him. He's still around. He still cares. But he can't help you unless you listen to him!" I don't understand. "Bill glances at the lesson plan he has prepared for the class. It is indeed quite complicated, as it involves teaching two separate lessons, blackboard practice, and some seat work. He hopes he has timed it correctly, so that he won't be teaching when " Stop. I don't understand. Go back to what you were talking about a minute ago. You said my regular narrator loves me? Who is he? "God". Oh. But why "You stopped listening. All the problems you've been having . He can help you with those. But He needs you to pay attention. You haven't been doing a very good job of that lately". I know. I forget. "He will tell you that you are doing a good job. That you care about your students. He can keep you from getting angry, and He can make you feel confident that you are doing all the right things. But He needs you to talk to Him and listen". Why didn't you tell me this at the start? "Because you knew it already. You just needed reminding!" And He sent you "Not exactly". "What do you mean? Are you ?" "Yes. I decided to be a lttle more proactive. Now get back to work and let me help you, OK?" |